Unhappy? Miserable? Does your life suck? Learn how to take control back and master your life so you can become happy, relaxed and successful and have a great life.
There are 2 types of people in this life.
Those who drift through life, never really making decisions, letting life happen to them, never having goals and never really achieving anything.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but the people in my life that are like that tend to always be complaining about how unfair life is or how unlucky they are.
In general, they are just always complaining about something, or miserable about something.
They suck the joy out of life.
Then there are those people who deliberately plan their lives.
They decide what their future should look like, then they create an action plan with goals and deadlines.
They deliberately make choices and take action to achieve their dreams.
I used to be the former, now I’m the latter.
And I can tell you now that I have taken control over my life, I no longer feel that life is just happening to me and I’m nothing but a passenger with no say in what happens to me.
I feel happy and relaxed, because I know that no matter what happens, I can make other choices and take other actions to steer my life where I want it to go.
I feel confident because I’ve achieved so much already.
I have self respect because I know that I deserve it.
My life is just so much better now.
Whatever your idea of success is, if you want to be successful in any way, or simply be happy or fulfilled, then you will need to get a grip on your life.
In other words, you will need to become the master of your own life, steering it like you would a car, onto the right roads that will lead you to where you want to go.
How do you master your life and become great?
1. Take responsibility for your own life
First things first, you need to accept that only YOU can change your own life.
No-one else can change your life.
You have to make the choices, you have to take the action, you have to get up when you fall.
If your life sucks it’s because you have not taken responsibility for changing it.
Start today and accept that your life will continue to suck until the day you die unless you make an effort to change it.
2. Prioritize yourself
Too many people fail to put themselves first.
It’s not selfish to prioritize yourself.
The happier and more relaxed you become, the more time and energy you will have to give to others.
There is also a tendency for some people to prioritize others to the point they become door mats.
There is a reason that you have to put your oxygen mask on first in a flight emergency before helping others.
If you are struggling, you can’t help others effectively.
If you are doing great, you have so much more to give those who do need help.
3. Work on your self development
Believe it or not, confidence and self esteem are things you can learn.
Learning to say no so others don’t treat you like a doormat, also a skill you can learn.
Managing people, setting goals, building discipline, these are all soft skills you can learn.
There are many books on self improvement and even more blogs on the subject.
4. Respect yourself – and others will too
Here’s a question…
Why should anyone respect you, if you don’t respect yourself?
Do you think you can respect someone who can’t respect themselves?
5. Love yourself
The same goes for love.
Why should I love someone who can’t even love themselves?
I think this is a crucial part of why so many people struggle in relationships.
They don’t respect themselves, and they don’t love themselves, yet they hope that this person will come along and give them all the love and respect they can’t even give themselves.
What really happens is that they end up not standing up for themselves, allowing others to steam roll them into doing things they don’t want to do.
In other words, they become a doormat.
Don’t be a doormat.
Be someone that you love and respect, and others will do it too!
6. Develop a growth mindset
A person with a fixed mindset believes that they were born with certain skills or aptitudes and when they encounter a situation where they don’t naturally succeed, they give up.
A person with a growth mindset simply thinks that everything can be learned, and that when they encounter a situation where they struggle, or where they make a mistake, they accept that they just don’t have the expertise or information necessary to succeed, YET!
In other words, a fixed mindset makes you give up sooner.
While a growth mindset means you simply learn from your mistake and move on.
7. Learn to think more positively
Being able to control your thoughts is one of the most crucial self improvement skills you can learn.
I have written about it extensively here, and here.
8. Practice gratitude
It will also make you see how much you have in life to be grateful for and positive about.
In other words, it changes the way you see the world and your place in it.
And in doing so, it changes what you thought was possible.
9. Set goals
Goal setting is very important if you want to build a better life for yourself.
Setting goals, and achieving them, helps you master your present life, as well as your future.
Take a dream, then break it down into smaller goals and steps that are achievable.
Write it all down so you can tick off the goals and steps as you accomplish them.
Read more about setting goals here.
10. Find balance
It can be easy to spend too much time on work, or too much time on your social life.
Or not enough time on your own health and fitness.
When we do not have balance, we overcompensate in other areas of our life, often through self destructive behaviour.
I know for a fact that my lack of social life and intellectual stimulation during the national COVID-19 lockdowns in 2020 meant I drank far more alcohol than is healthy.
The boredom and general imbalance of just working all day long with no distractions left me feeling empty inside. And the only way I could feel better was to drink more.
Other people tend to eat their emotions.
Some take drugs.
It’s the same imbalance at play.
Either way, when you don’t have balance, you end up running away from your problems, often towards unhealthy and self destructive lifestyles.
11. Let go of your past
You are not your past.
Do not let it dictate your entire life!
Yes you made a mistake, but that shouldn’t still be hanging over your head making you feel guilty 5 years later.
Or just because a teacher called you stupid when you were in school doesn’t mean that a) the teacher was right, and b) that you should now let it dictate how you live your life.
Let it go.
Be who you want to be.
12. Focus on opportunities
There are opportunities all arounds us, all of the time, but for one reason or another, most people don’t see them.
And even if they do, they don’t TAKE them!
Don’t let opportunities slip through your fingers.
Put your hand up, say YES, then give it a try.
13. Overcome obstacles instead of giving up
So many people believe that they just don’t have what it takes to do something.
For a long time, I didn’t believe I was a writer, yet here I am writing this blog.
I also didn’t think that I could be a manager, guess what, I am a manager, and I’m fairly decent at it.
I also never thought that I could be a business woman.
Well the jury is still out on that last one but I figure I can learn. I’ll read a book or 5, go on a course, and ask lots of questions from the right people.
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14. Learn from your mistakes
The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere. – Barack Obama
Every mistake teaches you something.
You’ve learned how NOT to do something, or you’ve learned how to do something better!
Either way, you are now further along than you were before.
Don’t be afraid of failure.
15. Surround yourself with the right people
This one should be obvious.
If you come from a family of overweight and unhealthy people, chances are you will be overweight and unhealthy.
If you come from a family of overachievers, while you will hate them all, you will probably achieve more than most.
If you come from a family full of high school dropouts, I suspect you don’t dream of getting a Phd in physics.
In other words, the people around us massively influence our own thoughts, dreams, and behaviours.
While you can’t choose your family, you can choose your friends.
If you want to be successful, then find someone who has already achieved the success you dream of and study how they did it.
Even better, if your school, university or company offers a mentorship scheme, then sign up and grab that opportunity with both hands.
16. Stop trying to please everyone and learn to please yourself
You will never please everyone.
No matter how perfect you are, there will always be at least one person who looks at you as a failure.
So STOP even trying.
YOU are the only person you need to please.
17. Celebrate your accomplishments
Be proud of what you have achieved.
Celebrate yourself.
It will motivate you to do even bigger and greater things!
18. Get over yourself
Not everything is about you.
People are not thinking about you as much as you suspect, nor are they talking about you.
Hard as it is to believe, people just don’t find you that interesting or important.
So don’t make it about you.
Don’t get pulled into drama that is pointless and drains the energy out of you.
19. Stop taking offence
Most people are so hung up in their own busy lives, that they fire off their mouths without really thinking about what they are saying.
In other words, they did not go out of their way to insult you.
They didn’t even think about you when they were talking.
Don’t make it about you.
Don’t spend your energy on such things.
Move on.
20. Accept that others will judge you for no good reason
Those who matter don’t care and those who care don’t matter – Anonymous
In other words, if someone cared about you, they wouldn’t judge you.
If they judge you, then they don’t care about you.
21. Upskill yourself
Learn how to be a better manager, how to cook healthy food, how to play the ukulele or knit tea cosies.
Learning new skills keeps us young and gives us an outlet for our creativity.
22. Build healthy habits
Making a choice every day to eat healthy and exercise is HARD!
I know it’s hard because I often struggle with it.
But when I put on my gym clothes first thing in the morning, and put an entry in my calendar with a reminder to exercise, I’m 80% more likely to do it as I don’t actually have to make a choice, I just have to go with the flow of my day.
This works great for any task that you are dreading as well.
23. Budget your energy (and money)
It’s obvious to every adult they should budget their money.
But you should also budget your energy.
How often have you gotten to the end of the day then realized you are too tired to do anything other than sit on the sofa?
You only have so much a day to spend on activities, so make it count.
Make sure that you focus on those tasks that help you prioritize and achieve your goals and dreams.
It will also help you to be productive.
24. Change the story you tell yourself
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you are right! – Henry Ford
I love that quote by Henry Ford.
I remind myself of that every time I am feeling negative, or when I think I can’t be a success at something.
I actively work to change the story I tell myself about my weight, my success in life, how much people like me, whether I feel fear about a situation, how intelligent or stupid I am, or simply if I’m good at something.
The point is, if you think that you cannot do something, you will never succeed in doing it.
If you think you are too stupid to understand or accomplish something, guess what, you will never even try.
If you think that you don’t have what it takes to be a business person, guess what, you will be an employee working for a salary until you die.
The story you tell yourself matters.
If you sow negative thoughts, your life will be filled with negative things. If you sow positive thoughts, your life will be cheerful, successful, and positive. – Earl Nightingale, The Strangest Secret
If your mind is full of negative thoughts, then you will only see the negative things in life, and your experience of life will be negative.
But if your mind is full of positive thoughts, you will see the world around you as positive and you yourself will feel more positive.
Conclusion
If you want to live a good, positive, enjoyable life, then you need to master your life.
Luckily, as you can see, it’s not that difficult.
Focus on what you want from life.
Master your mind, your thoughts and your fears.
Grow as a person.
Read books.
Follow your dreams.
Don’t let life happen to you, start today, take responsibility for your life and everything that happens in it.
That is how you master your life, your success and your happiness.
